Reflections of subconsciously living with Mental Health

Meet the Banana brothers aka O'Ncube

"In many ways, mental health is just like physical health: everybody has it and we need to take care of it .

Good mental health means being generally able to think, feel and react in the ways that you need and want to live your life. But if you go through a period of poor mental health you might find the ways you're frequently thinking, feeling or reacting become difficult, or even impossible, to cope with. This can feel just as bad as a physical illness, or even worse .

Mental health problems affect around one in four people in any given year. They range from common problems, such as depression and anxiety, to rarer problems such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

Experiencing a mental health problem is often upsetting, confusing and frightening – particularly at first. If you become unwell, you may feel that it's a sign of weakness, or that you are 'losing your mind'. 

These fears are often reinforced by the negative (and often unrealistic) way that people experiencing mental health problems are shown on TV, in films and by the media. This may stop you from talking about your problems, or seeking help. This, in turn, is likely to increase your distress and sense of isolation. 

However, in reality, mental health problems are a common human experience.
Most people know someone who has experienced a mental health problem. They can happen to all kinds of people from all walks of life. And it's likely that, when you find a combination of self-care, treatment and support that works for you, you will get better. " (https://www.mind.org.uk)

I have never really stopped to consider checking if I may have mental health issues and I am pretty sure that 99% of the people out there have had the same attitude towards the issue because most of us think just because we are in gainful employment or running a successful business and fit in the social and public definition of success or contentment we are therefore very normal beings.

The truth is most of us live a lie in that we are in most times disconnected from our own realities and actually live imagined realities that we want those around us to view in good light. Perhaps the very reason most of us would never think about nor associate ourselves with issues related to mental health. In Africa the mere mention of the reference is a very sensitive subject as it can easily stigmatise ones personal image amongst their close circle of associates.

I guess migrating to more tolerant societies and perhaps more developed in terms of understanding mental health issues has in a way helped me appreciate the challenges many face in terms of living with mental health issues. On reflection I can see that our family background and experiences may have actually triggered some of the symptoms associated to mental health issues, but because of pride and the general African perception which frowns on individuals identified with mental health issues in our vernacular languages they would say "uyahlanya" or "anopenga". These are usually very strong references that usually tend to have a much stronger meaning of being "mad", basically meaning someone has lost total control of their mental compass.

I think my return to Zimbabwe in 2018 put me in a situation where my mental wellbeing was tested and triggered to a certain extent. There were many times where I would ask myself why should I try and adjust to what had become a very confusing life caused by factors that were just beyond my immediate control. I would tell myself that this is all part of the struggle to get things right in Zimbabwe and try find solace from the courageous stance I was taking in joining many in trying to make things work (normalise the abnormal) in the very complex socio-economic and political environment. I would tell myself that if others can survive under the same conditions why should I fail to also embrace the conditions, not realising that most had no other options to move away from the hostile environment like I did.

I guess I would consider myself as a self-care patient. I think my mental health has not started with my return to Zimbabwe but possible from the time my late father was President and we as children had to adjust our behaviour as children to emulate those of staff members, official's and members of the public in terms of having that fear respect for our dad rather than having a love respect for a fatherly figure who was not just a head of state but head of our family. As a child of a prominent public figure one's child freedoms were also limited as 'behaving' in any childish way that would attract criticism towards the image of President was something that was made very clear in terms of what was expected of us in terms of how we behaved.

Living Statehouse and beginning to work amongst members from the general public also brought it's own psychological challenges as naturally people expected that the son of a President or former President would have certain privileges and command a certain kind of life style. Our late father believed that doing us any favours in terms of requesting certain privileges be accorded to us in his capacity as President or former President would bring his image and name to disrepute and be viewed as abuse of power and position.

All that played into our mental well-being as children of a former Head of State as we were unable to live up-to the expectations from members of the general public, obviously oblivious of the fact that we did not have to live up to anyone's expectations. As a result we often form our meagre salaries lived beyond our means in order to try and live up to those expectations and create an image with status labels. I left Zimbabwe to live and work in South Africa in my quest to live a life away from the status image and reference of being the son of a former President whom the ordinary people had high expectations of which I could not live up to as in reality I never had any resources to live up to their wishes.

It was as if we were expected to live a life style like the Royal family where we could be involved in public projects sponsored by tax payers money. All that I am sure not only played into my conscience but also that of my siblings. So what exactly have I just narrated? Well we all suffer from a bout of madness in our lives and one of the best ways to deal with mental illness is to be open about the issues that affect your way of life to those that you can confide in. Obviously not everyone close to your circles has your best interests at heart but remaining silent on some of those very personal isles can be counter productive and affect your heath and life style.

“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” – Glenn Close.