Reflections of subconsciously living with Mental Health

Meet the Banana brothers aka O'Ncube

"In many ways, mental health is just like physical health: everybody has it and we need to take care of it .

Good mental health means being generally able to think, feel and react in the ways that you need and want to live your life. But if you go through a period of poor mental health you might find the ways you're frequently thinking, feeling or reacting become difficult, or even impossible, to cope with. This can feel just as bad as a physical illness, or even worse .

Mental health problems affect around one in four people in any given year. They range from common problems, such as depression and anxiety, to rarer problems such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

Experiencing a mental health problem is often upsetting, confusing and frightening – particularly at first. If you become unwell, you may feel that it's a sign of weakness, or that you are 'losing your mind'. 

These fears are often reinforced by the negative (and often unrealistic) way that people experiencing mental health problems are shown on TV, in films and by the media. This may stop you from talking about your problems, or seeking help. This, in turn, is likely to increase your distress and sense of isolation. 

However, in reality, mental health problems are a common human experience.
Most people know someone who has experienced a mental health problem. They can happen to all kinds of people from all walks of life. And it's likely that, when you find a combination of self-care, treatment and support that works for you, you will get better. " (https://www.mind.org.uk)

I have never really stopped to consider checking if I may have mental health issues and I am pretty sure that 99% of the people out there have had the same attitude towards the issue because most of us think just because we are in gainful employment or running a successful business and fit in the social and public definition of success or contentment we are therefore very normal beings.

The truth is most of us live a lie in that we are in most times disconnected from our own realities and actually live imagined realities that we want those around us to view in good light. Perhaps the very reason most of us would never think about nor associate ourselves with issues related to mental health. In Africa the mere mention of the reference is a very sensitive subject as it can easily stigmatise ones personal image amongst their close circle of associates.

I guess migrating to more tolerant societies and perhaps more developed in terms of understanding mental health issues has in a way helped me appreciate the challenges many face in terms of living with mental health issues. On reflection I can see that our family background and experiences may have actually triggered some of the symptoms associated to mental health issues, but because of pride and the general African perception which frowns on individuals identified with mental health issues in our vernacular languages they would say "uyahlanya" or "anopenga". These are usually very strong references that usually tend to have a much stronger meaning of being "mad", basically meaning someone has lost total control of their mental compass.

I think my return to Zimbabwe in 2018 put me in a situation where my mental wellbeing was tested and triggered to a certain extent. There were many times where I would ask myself why should I try and adjust to what had become a very confusing life caused by factors that were just beyond my immediate control. I would tell myself that this is all part of the struggle to get things right in Zimbabwe and try find solace from the courageous stance I was taking in joining many in trying to make things work (normalise the abnormal) in the very complex socio-economic and political environment. I would tell myself that if others can survive under the same conditions why should I fail to also embrace the conditions, not realising that most had no other options to move away from the hostile environment like I did.

I guess I would consider myself as a self-care patient. I think my mental health has not started with my return to Zimbabwe but possible from the time my late father was President and we as children had to adjust our behaviour as children to emulate those of staff members, official's and members of the public in terms of having that fear respect for our dad rather than having a love respect for a fatherly figure who was not just a head of state but head of our family. As a child of a prominent public figure one's child freedoms were also limited as 'behaving' in any childish way that would attract criticism towards the image of President was something that was made very clear in terms of what was expected of us in terms of how we behaved.

Living Statehouse and beginning to work amongst members from the general public also brought it's own psychological challenges as naturally people expected that the son of a President or former President would have certain privileges and command a certain kind of life style. Our late father believed that doing us any favours in terms of requesting certain privileges be accorded to us in his capacity as President or former President would bring his image and name to disrepute and be viewed as abuse of power and position.

All that played into our mental well-being as children of a former Head of State as we were unable to live up-to the expectations from members of the general public, obviously oblivious of the fact that we did not have to live up to anyone's expectations. As a result we often form our meagre salaries lived beyond our means in order to try and live up to those expectations and create an image with status labels. I left Zimbabwe to live and work in South Africa in my quest to live a life away from the status image and reference of being the son of a former President whom the ordinary people had high expectations of which I could not live up to as in reality I never had any resources to live up to their wishes.

It was as if we were expected to live a life style like the Royal family where we could be involved in public projects sponsored by tax payers money. All that I am sure not only played into my conscience but also that of my siblings. So what exactly have I just narrated? Well we all suffer from a bout of madness in our lives and one of the best ways to deal with mental illness is to be open about the issues that affect your way of life to those that you can confide in. Obviously not everyone close to your circles has your best interests at heart but remaining silent on some of those very personal isles can be counter productive and affect your heath and life style.

“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” – Glenn Close.

Beyond Partisan Politics towards a Politics of Nationalism

The more I try hard to pull away from the toxic politics in Zimbabwe, the more I find myself being pulled back into the discussion irrespective of the direction that I have chosen to focus on the business and investment arena.

I however find myself more aligned to nationalism more than political party identities, though on reflection I can see how certain political party policies favour a nationalist approach on paper but somehow are still reflective of the inherited capitalist system that tends to benefit a minority few in positions of power and influence reflective of the Rhodesian government model of governance only this time economic beneficiaries are partisan based and to some degree also nepotistic (family appointments) in nature.

Whilst on the other hand the other political parties are more liberal and embracing an open kind of democratic dispensation that has no clearly articulated framework to protect the sovereign interests of the indigenous citizen of Zimbabwe but relies heavily on being guided by the influence that comes from the so called superpowers of the world with permanent interests in Zimbabwe.

That said in most political platforms looking from outside inside, I see how moral and ethical standards have been eroded in terms of being guided by values like 'ubuntu/hunhu' that represent who we are as African people.

This is not to suggest that we must throw away everything that was brought and taught to us by foreigners. I still respect certain aspects of western democratic models but have also realised that not all aspect can be applied to African political environments because of our unique cultural history and leadership style.

Most of us perhaps because of the influence that comes from a largely globalised political environment, we find ourselves naturally being attracted and looking up to foreign influences, moreso also because of our heavily inherited colonial education system that makes academic, visual and shared information on online resources appear more superior based on those indoctrinated foreign concepts, ideologies and value systems.

I guess finding the right balance in terms of where to draw the line with regards to protecting what serves the interests of African society/people over what is presented as helping develop African society can be a very complex task especially when there seem to be subtle hidden agendas designed to serve and benefit foreign interests more African people nor a sincere partnership for uplifting African nations.

I guess some will argue that it's also a double edged sword in the sense that most our so called leaders have embraced a culture of corruption which makes the whole quest to empower ordinary citizens (self emancipation) counter productive as the same crop of  leadership seem to have a great admiration of western propagated 'status symbols' which are a byproduct of the dominant global capitalist system as reflective in their life styles.

It is African authors like Ngũgĩ wa Thiong'o that should inspire young African's to wake up and believe they have what it takes to take our continent out of this negative label of perpertual poverty. Surely African nations and their abundance of untapped natural resources can unite and be equal partners amongst the great nations of this world. Nothing is impossible as long as we believe we can rise above those artificial barriers some imposed by others and some that are just part of the natural creation of life.

As we enter the Zimbabwe Economic Revolution

Grassroots Campaign Cowdray Park

“Success is likened to a deep pit, you have to jump in to get it, then you'll need a ladder of grace to climb out to enjoy it. However mediocrity is a pit that swallows people who have rested on seats of complacency for long.” 

As we enter the Zimbabwe Economic Revolution 

Introduction

My decision to return to the African continent, more specifically Zimbabwe was driven by my passion to want to give back to a society where I grew up and wanted to give back by sharing ideas inspired by my experiences living in different socio-economic and political backgrounds.

I knew from the moment I made the decision on this new journey that it was not going to be easy and I would need to make a lot of sacrifices financially and emotionally too. My journey back would not have been meaningful had it not been for the moral and financial support and encouragement from my wife, brothers, some extended family members and a few close friends and associates.

I must admit that in spite of all the support I received during my political campaign which I know started a bit too late still pushed me over my planned budget as proposals to run with Councillors just cut into my already limited financial resources.

Post Election Road Map

Fast forward..Zanu PF won a two thirds majority in parliament and a closely contested and legally challenged Presidential election.

I guess questions need to be asked to ascertain what went wrong. So what lessons have we learnt as political candidates and citizens from the election experience and outcomes? 

On a personal level on reflection I know that I took a risk by entering the arena after having lived outside Zimbabwe for several years, even in spite of having managed to run a few community based initiatives from my Diaspora home targeted at my home constituency. 

Naturally people can only relate to someone whom they can see on a day to day basis and would therefore be more comfortable in electing them as their representative. However in spite of the late entry my campaign was also affected by the lack of access to local media platforms, like local radio stations and newspapers which could have helped increase my visibility and also share my campaign message. 

On top of the list was entering the race with a very limited campaign budget, which meant movement was restricted and visibility could not be effective without sufficient campaign regalia and funds to hire larger venues like stadiums to run rallies.

Second on the list was the disunity of opposition political parties and candidates, this meant that there was a very long ballot paper that many voters had no time to read and understand, hence results seemed to favour only the popular brand names with many new unknown names failing to garner enough votes to win the campaign.

Third on the list was the economic environment. the election was very ripe for vote buying as the country was facing cash shortages in banks with rising cost of living where many could not afford the basics. Even the largest opposition party was equally affected by the lack of campaign funding and largely benefited from an already large urban voter following that had grown over the years. Their main weakness was their lack of penetration of the rural constituencies that have remained Zanu PF strongholds since independence partly because of their utilisation of government and donor resources to mobiles cell structures during the distribution of those agricultural subsidies. 

The strategic privatisation of parastatals and creation of political party aligned businesses meant that those companies given contracts and tenders would be called upon to support the parties campaign chest during elections. Many ask where did Zanu PF get so much money to buy so many cars during their campaign, well they have been in power since independence and have virtually policised the system of government right into the heart of the business community.

What is the way forward?

Opposition politics as we have all know it has been of constantly criticising almost everything government does and boycotting participation on some national programs meant to benefit all citizens is counter productive to national progress. I appreciate that government has been largely run on partisan lines with one needing to produce a Zanu PF membership card with subscription payments to access opportunities. Those in parliament need to expose and fight that injustice so such opportunities are accessible to every ordinary citizen.

There is a need to go on a massive conscientisation campaign to awaken critical consciousness of citizens on the importance of making leadership choices from a more informed position than just following the crowd mentality.

Voters need to understand how vote buying might provide temporal relief but long term hardships after elections. They need to understand that that a small bribe to win their vote is nothing compared to the millions these politicians keep syphoning from our national resources under the guise of serving society. Citizens need to understand their rights and responsibilities as citizens to hold legislators to account for their actions and decisions. The electorate needs to see the value of demanding more transparency in terms of how tax payer money and revenue generated from various sources and how it will be used for the benefit of building a more socially progressive society.

I feel our humble nature as Zimbabweans has left us vulnerable to exploitation by those in positions of power and influence and now more recently also being taken advantage by the business community sometimes conspiring with those in government.

In short collectively as citizens working with political institutions and other nation building entities hungry for real change really need to come up with social re-engineering strategies that will awaken our people and stand up to the increasing and reckless injustices being perpetrated against them. Opposition parties need to unite and work together to demand a much fairer society for all citizens not based on any political labels.

The Economy

We need to give as much focus on economic solutions like we have done over the years with our passion to seek political solutions. In any case there is no opposition political party or candidate that will be able to match the resource power that Zanu PF has managed to pull together over the years unless they have very powerful financial backers who have no ties to the current system of government.

Our politics is no longer just limited to the political arena but has transcended to also dominate the business arena with a few powerful and influential individuals (untouchables) controlling the bulk of our national wealth. So we need to fight to get back our economy which is now controlled by very powerful cartels working with key individuals in the current system of government.

let's demand our fair share of gold for this country is for all of us and future generations must look back and follow footsteps that build great nations rather than those that destroy and suck it dry of all it's natural resources. We need to demand more transparent forms of governance and hold leaders to account for their actions and decisions.

Reflections from my 2018 Political Campaign in Luveve Constituency

Day 1 Workshop & Door to Door Campaign Old Luveve

Brief Background History

I knew from the moment I accepted the invitation to join a new political party in 2010 that the journey was not going to be an easy and straight forward one. Many of us did not realise that trying to build a political platform without sufficient resources hoping that sympathetic donors will come to our aid was very ambitious. What made it even more complex is that we had to work as Zimbabweans from diverse backgrounds scattered across the globe and only making contributions on a voluntary basis around our day to day working schedules which only made the whole process extremely slow, resulting in some members silently dropping out and focusing on their personal pursuits. 

In spite of those evident challenges, the passion and will power that most team members had ensured the work of building 'Freedom Justice Coalition Zimbabwe Party' would continue at snails pace for the next eight years. During that time the party had two other Interim Presidents of the party, the first who was responsible for research and policy formulation, followed by two others who were responsible for the administrative structuring and finally myself who was nominated and elected to lead the political structuring phase at the end of 2014.

Coalition/Merger Negotiations

The interim party leadership realised that the lack of funds to spearhead the party's vision and mission objectives forward if not addressed would eventually lead to the party shutting down. It was then that a decision was taken to engage other opposition parties with the intent of forming coalitions or having mergers in an attempt to consolidate the limited resources by grouping together all smaller political parties. Sadly our efforts to build progressive partnerships were met with hostility and in some cases silent diplomacy that did not produce and final outcomes. It seems most leaders within those parties were only interested in protecting their positions with the larger political parties wanting to dictate rather than negotiate a way forward.

Election Campaign

Banana 4 Luveve Campaign Team 2018

As a result of all the negative outcomes of these efforts the party was forced to let individual candidates try and self-fund their campaigns using the party branding and policies. We also decided because of the lack of resources to build national structures and hold Congress the party would not field any Presidential Candidate.

Campaigning was never going to be easy especially taking into account the inherent culture by older political parties of giving out free regalia to potential voters during the campaign trial. This was made worse by the already difficult economic conditions where unemployment is very high and there was no cash in the banks which left most voters vulnerable to vote buying strategies. I think the unlevel playing field influenced by lack of fair access to political funding was quite evident for all to see as the better resourced political parties were visible because their resource advantage in terms of party campaign materials and mobilisation.

Media Bias

To top it up access to media sources like Radio and T.V. all came at a costs only affordable to the better resourced candidates and only the media favored candidates were given coverage on both print and online media sources.TIt became clear that the election had become a two way contest between Zanu PF and MDC Alliance and it's break aways.

Both Local and International Media focused a lot on the Presidential campaign with little or nothing done to share Information about other candidates at local government and National Assembly.

Ballot paper

The ballot list of candidates was long and unclear so the easiest choice for most voters especially the elderly was to chose between the popular parties and not necessarily the best candidates hence many new entrants were denied the opportunity to bring in new ideas as the main message of the elections by largest opposition was transformed from "Mugabe must go" to "Zanu PF must go".

Conclusion

Conclusively those elected won not because they ran good campaigns and were the best candidates but because of the "political party labels" more than the credibility and track record of prospective candidates. Even most of the candidates fielded by the MDC Alliance were negotiated rather than elected through a democratic process (imposition), so technically they were not chosen by the voters but the party leadership.

My hope is that those elected in these elections will learn from our shared campaign messages and take on board some of the good ideas shared to help improve on service delivery standards and also demand accountability and transparency from the Zanu PF government in the next 5 years.

What does the future look like?

I do not intend contesting to be a Member of Parliament in the next election, but will continue to work in my target community with the winning MP and Councillors to contribute to growing the local economy and creating opportunities for residents to fully unlock their potential. I believe our focus as citizens of one nation should be more on coming up with economic empowering solutions that can help us eradicate poverty.

I shall continue the work of building the party and also continue exploring working partnerships with other political parties in Zimbabwe including the party in government. I believe as people belonging we actually have far more in common than that which divides us. It's quite clear for me that the divide and rule culture of politics has created a very divided nation based on opposition politics, which seems blind to working to achieve national objectives. This clearly does not inspire hope as we spend too much time complaining about our situation rather than also coming up with practical competitive alternative ideas that can help transform people's lives today and not only when there is a change in government.

I believe financial independence will make democracy work as it will become more difficult to bribe voters during election time with free handouts and food as they will be able to afford them on their own.

Mindset Change

I believe there is a serious need for social engineering, citizen information campaigns that can help them understand their rights and the responsibilities of elected leaders and how to hold them to account for their election promises and decisions that have a negative impact on their lives.

Newly Appointed Cabinet

The recently announced Zimbabwe Cabinet is certainly a step in the right direction that has given many of us a glimmer of hope as this is something that has not happened to this scale since 1980. Change from what was to what ought to be is a process that will take time. I'm optimistic.

The Corruption, Human rights violations and partisan politics have made most of us a very bitter people blinded from appreciating any good by the hatred of the current system of government. The frustration is so deep to an extent we always looking to discredit even anything promising that the Zanu government try to introduce as solutions.

I think there is a serious need for a mindset change and this process of change will take time and probably be influenced by the very performance of the new cabinet in meeting election campaign promises and citizen expectations.

I would personally wish to see a more competitive type of politics that moves away from empty campaign rhetoric and confrontational strategies that do not lead to positive outcomes to a politics that offers practical alternative solutions that contribute to national development now and not based on a future that can never guaranteed.

Let's all remember that we are Zimbabweans first before we belong to political parties. So nationalism must come before partisan loyalty. Personally I would like to see more transparency and accountability from all our leaders. I believe these are the key pillars for  driving socio-economic and political change in our country.